MsMacabre's Xanga

Redirect

Wed, 09 Jan 2008 03:22:06 GMT

The redirect didn't work so here's the new link. I liked Journal Home but my iMac didn't. Now I have a PC and can use the site again.

Sums it up pretty well...

Mon, 07 Jan 2008 13:58:40 GMT

I couldn't have said it better myself.

A few months ago I happened upon a blog at which had been left a comment to the effect of one day, perhaps 20 years from now, the Bush presidency will be vilified, and Bush himself shown to be a strong leader and visionary who wasn't afraid to take a risk.

Of course he wasn't. It's not HIS head on the block. He's going to be out of here in a year or so and someone else will be left with the monumental task of clearing up the cluster-f*ck that is Iraq and fixing the devastating debt this subhumanoid moron has left us with. As I have said before, I do not envy this person his or her job.

Meanwhile, we are not only left with a crippling debt and a pointless, expensive and deadly war (that has resulted in the deaths of thousands of the very people it was supposed to 'save', by the way, many of whom were killed as the result of poor intelligence pointing out a 'terrorist hideout' that just happened to be full of unarmed innocent people), but our international reputation is, in fact, ruined. People of other countries see the US as a bully, an oppressor and an outlaw who ignores the UN and has forsaken the decency required in the Geneva Convention for vigilante justice. The reasons for such widespread hatred of us have little to do with religious intolerance (though, granted, the 'impose sharia law on the entire world' crowd does loathe us primarily for that reason, they are but a small portion of the people the Bush administration has pissed off) and far more to do with the ridiculous way the Bushites have gone about things.

Let's say fictional President X of Nowhereland decided to invade the US. The time he spent between his mind hatching the plot to invade and the actual execution of said invasion is approximately four weeks, and the motivation is personal interest, only it's justified to the citizens of Nowhereland as a necessary evil.

They have WMDs, says Pres. X.
They were in on an attack that crippled this country for weeks, says Pres. X.
They are planning to use nuclear technology to attack us again, says Pres. X.

All of this later turns out to be untrue. But in the process of learning this the military of Nowhereland has cost his country thousands of lives and billions in property damage. They have also cost themselves thousands of soldier's lives and run up a debt so ridiculously, outrageously high that not only is the surplus that existed at the beginning of President X's adminstration gone, his country is trillions of dollars in the hole. Trillions. Because President X in essence told the UN to fuck off, he was going ahead with said invasion regardless of their concerns and advice, he has alienated most other nations including those who used to be supportive of his country and his people. Allies become enemies who refuse aid and publicly speak against President X and his strongarm tactics. Then it becomes known that President X couldn't care less about treatment of POWs and some members of his administrations say the use of torture is an okay thing as long as it yields the information they want and the general view of the Nowhereland citizenry (the majority, who helped elect this misguided man), is agreement with this policy. This same majority supports President X because he agrees with their religious views and goes out of his way to promote them at every opportunity in spite of the fact that it directly violates national policy against establishing a single, nationally recognized and priviledged religious tradition, whose adherents enjoy rights of religious expression that other groups do not (or can not). President X claims that his god - the god of Nowhereland's majority religion - tells him to do things and his supporters admire him for it while condemning the actions of other leaders who do the same because these leaders do not belong to the same group that President X and his followers wish to have established as the only free and recognized religion in their own country.

Would we not hate them if the roles were reversed? Would we not see them as an evil empire which needs to be destroyed?

So is it any great shock that most of the free world despises us right now? Americans were angry with the French when they refused to back us in invading Iraq, and now we see that this was quite possibly the best thing they could have done for their citizenry and their financial future. In so doing they took a hit to their international reputation for awhile but when the dust settled they did not have a huge loss of life and funds to contend with and the overall negative view of them has largely shifted. In short, the French were right. They helped us during the Revolutionary War and during WW2 but had the courage and intelligence to keep themselves out of this one. Foresight rather than hindsight.

So what happens now? I shudder to think. Bush and co. have less than a year left to rule. I refer to it this way because he and his administration care nothing for the desires of the citizens of this country unless those desires are religious in nature. He panders to the majority and shows a clear bias because he knew he needed them to stay in office, and he needed their support for his disastrous and unnecessary (and illegal) war. Thus far his motto seems to have been 'go big and lie'. It makes sense that he will 'go out big (and still lying)' as well, and I can't help but wonder what the human cost of that will be.

Ten months from now can not come soon enough. Most of the potantial candidates for both of the major parties are walking disasters. This has got to be one of the most despicable lineups of people ever considered for the job, several of whom have taken Bush's example and begun pandering to the religious right.

I do have some sympathy for Romney. Don't get me wrong, in no way do I feel that he is qualified to be president, but I can't help feeling a bit sorry for him. He's the odd man out. Who knew that in order to be qualified to lead you not only have to be christian, but the right type of christian? I'm sure Romney was shocked to learn that his religious beliefs would trump his political record and views on important political issues. They have taken to persecuting their own for political gain. Such a sterling example to set before the rest of the world.

I hope whomever does inhabit the office next is objective enough to put his or her religious sensibilities aside and do the job as expected.

I also hope they bring heavy equipment and a construction crew. There's an awful lot of repair and rebuilding to be done.

Oy vey...I'm verklempt

Sun, 30 Dec 2007 16:36:46 GMT

After a week of pain, pain, more pain, a trip to the doctor and one to the hospital...the flippin' stone is still stuck firmly somewhere in Larry's right kidney. These things develop little barbs sometimes so the nice folks at FMH think it's caught somewhere around the entrance to the ureter. Every once in awhile this delightful circumstance changes as the stone shifts (or at least Larry says it feels as if it is) then settles back into place.

Friday night he was in absolute hell. He'd been having pain since the early afternoon, but 6pm or so is when we began negotiations regarding a possible return to the emergency room, as the pain had become so intense he was throwing up. Finally, being a man (no offense, Dave, this is just my experience after dealing with a father and two husbands who would refuse medical help until bleeding from every orifice - and only then after familial intervention; "Whaddaya mean, my ass always bleeds like that! Just pass me some gauze, I'll be fine. Sheesh!!"), he decided after several hours of intense suffering that perhaps the old nag (moi) had a point, and another trip to yon Emergency Room was in fact a boffo idea.

Again he got some really groovy pain meds via IV and spent about five hours zoning before the doctor in charge cut him loose. Since he had already had a CAT scan they weren't too enthusiastic about doing another one due to the amount of radiation involved.

No. Ya don't say.

It seems that Hubbins is going to need the intervention of a good urologist, who will reportedly stick a long probe with a tiny basket on the end into my husband's urethra and proceed upward with the intention of snagging the stone in said snazzy little basket. I asked if this was going to be as unpleasant as it sounds, and the doctor informed me that Larry will not care, as the entire procedure will be done with Larry snoozing peacefully away under the influence of a general anesthetic.

I wager he'll care when he wakes up, though. Methinks he'll care big time.

The ER doctor knows a really good urologist who, unfortunately, was unavailable this weekend because his office was closed for the holiday, but we'll be calling him tomorrow morning to see when he and his basket/instrument of torture thingy will be available for the extraction procedure.

In the meantime, I am afraid to leave him alone with the babies for even a few minutes so that I can shower because his pain comes on so suddenly and quickly. My mind insists upon conjuring up images of myself stepping out of a nice long (and very relaxing) shower to the sight of Larry twisted in pain and moaning while the freezer door stands open with it's contents in a pile on the floor beneath it, the alarm on my car screeching while Zoe stands by pushing the button repeatedly and Trent spreading the soil from my one remaining and much beloved house plant to hell and back.

Thus, I have not had a shower in exactly one week. To say I'm feeling less than fresh is an understatement.

To say I'm looking forward to John returning home so he can watch the babies long enough for me to finally get a shower is also an understatement.

Looks like the much-needed hour away from the house I've been dreaming of for the last three or so weeks is on hold too. I've gotten out, but it's been for errands and trips to take the babies or Larry to the doctor. That shut-in/trapped feeling is getting really intense, but I know I have to deal with it for now because I just can not leave the house and feel secure about leaving Larry alone with the kids. I'm just too terrified of what I'd come home to.

Thank the Gods for video games. The distraction is such a blessing right now.

So tired

Wed, 26 Dec 2007 13:57:05 GMT

The ER released Larry xmas eve with a prescription for pain meds and some strainers to (hopefully) catch the stone in. Yesterday morning he was miserable with the pain, which later stopped almost as quickly as it had begun. He told me that when this happens it usually means the stone has moved. Later yesterday morning he thought he had passed it but I don't think he did because he woke up with the same agonizing pain this morning.

The doctors who tended him in the ER couldn't do anything surgical to dissolve the stone because it is too small, so he has to wait until it works it's way out.

Ouch.

He wanted to have my family over for dinner anyway and he did really well most of the day. We've decided to postpone the trip to SC, though. Turns out that was a good decision even though we'd though he passed the stone. Especially now that we know he didn't. There's no way he'd be able to drive like this. He can barely move. I keep checking on him and wanting to do something to help him with his pain but he tells me there's nothing I can do.

Right on time...

Mon, 24 Dec 2007 20:58:31 GMT

A few nights ago Larry slept on the new mattress and began to have back pain. He figured it was a lower lumbar thing until it migrated and now he's in a hell of a lot of pain and sure that he's having another kidney stone.

He refused to let me drive him to the hospital because the babies would have a hard time being there, and drove himself.

He just called me, and the ER staff seems to agree with him that it's very likely a kidney stone. They've got him hooked up to an IV and he's getting some pretty groovy pain medicine right now while he waits for them to come in and do a scan to be sure.

I swear, I think this family is cursed.

At least we're consistent. We know something awful is about to happen when the xmas season starts.

When it rains...

Sun, 23 Dec 2007 22:49:36 GMT

Unfortunately, the onset of the holidays is accompanied by a deluge. A torrential downpour of fecal phenomena (shit happens, yo...) that continues to whiz down upon us until either the holidays have passed or until some great family tragedy befalls us. If someone is going to get sick or hurt, get laid off, get fired, die or end up in jail you can bet your happy ass it's going to happen around thanksgiving or (more frequently) christmas.

This year we've been hit with infection. Ear (Trent), sinus (Zoe - though they aren't sure whether it's a new infection or she's still suffering from the one from two weeks ago and it hadn't quite healed), and quite possibly another sinus infection (moi). I'm having the symptoms again. Personally, I think there's something in the house triggering it since it keeps recurring, and is now recurring with the children as well. Hubbins of course thinks it's something else. He figures the babies are just picking things up at school and that my overall health is being affected by my Adenomyosis.

Could be. We no sooner get the children well and send them back to school than they come down with something else.

His theory regarding my physical issues may have some merit as well, and I'm sure it doesn't help that we were (and still are) unsure about when to start the birth control pills. With me bleeding constantly it's impossible to tell when my period is actually starting, so the gyn told me to start on a Sunday when I was bleeding. I've been on the pills for two months now and am still bleeding every single day. Every two weeks it gets heavier and I experience more intense cramping, which is much, much worse during the last week of the pills, the last week of which are hormone-free but included so women don't get off of our dosing schedule. The bleeding without the pills is much less manageable than when I take them so I know it's helping, the question I have is; are they helping enough?

If I don't see a drastic improvement with this next pack of pills I'm going to have to call Dr. A and see if we can try something else. I know it takes awhile for the body to adjust, but I think if something was going to change surely I'd have seen it by now. Granted, any improvement is better than none, but I'm getting to the point again in which I am always tired and almost always feel cold. It's time to start back up on the iron pills. I stopped taking them after the bleeding decreased but with those two periods of painful and heavy bleeding still going on every month I think I'm needing some help. Multivitamins too. I should probably be taking those anyway.

And now I'm feeling that 'coming down with something' feeling again. Bet I know what it is, too. Another damnable sinus infection.

Thankfully, things aren't all bad. The uber-christian sister-in-law who hates me will not be greeting us when we go to South Carolina on the 26th. Bro-in-law has to work. I'm expecting a much less stressful trip. Also, we don't have to worry about Zoe freaking out and one of us having to take her home early because I'm hosting the xmas dinner this year. Happy me!! Even relatively familiar places can be upsetting to an autistic child if they don't spend at least a little time each day (or week) there, so a trip to my folks' house generally ends in tears for baby girl. But she's more than okay with having people come to visit - in fact she loves it! It's just so much easier to invite people to our home than to go to theirs. It's going to be a very small group too, which helps a lot. AND my parents are bringing the ham. Sweet!

I don't have that much cleaning to do since I've been working on it all week and John's going to help me wrap gifts tonight and tomorrow night. He's done that the last few years and it has been such a blessing! We put something xmassy in the DVD player (Die Hard, Silent Night, Deadly Night, Gremlins, you know: the classics), and get to work. By the time the movie is over we have tons done and it doesn't even seem like work.

In other news...

I like to read a book before seeing the film it's based upon, so I started reading The Golden Compass a little over a week ago. It's far better than I had imagined. The two problems I have had with it are that many of the adults have seemed rather uncaring up until a few pages ago, and I don't find Lyra herself especially likable. She's a brat, actually. She runs with gangs of other simlarly bratty little children and they basically steal things, throw rocks at one another and break things. I'm not very far into the book but I do expect that she will change and grow, at least a little, as the story progresses. I LOVE the way Phillip Pullman writes! His creativity is boundless and his style rich and beautiful, easily on par with J.K. Rowling, but that is where the similarity ends. Lyra's world, while as magical and unique as Harry's, is vastly different. The Daemons in particular fascinate me, and I'm hoping to find out why every human has one and why they lose their ability to shapeshift when their companion child reaches adulthood. I can't wait to learn more about the Panserbjorne! The film trailers make them look so beautiful and heroic.

I mean, who wouldn't want one?

Also, I've been reading Martin Zender's book Martin Zender Goes to Hell: A Critical Look at an Un-Criticized Doctrine. It's quite fascinating. I think I may have finally found a christian group I actually like: Universalists. According to Fred Phelps this and other forms of inclusive christianity are 'prettied-up', and if anyone has any hope of salvation it's going to come from fundamentalist teachings, not that idea that 'God loves everyone'. If Fred Phelps hates it, it must be worth looking into.

I like that idea; God loves everyone. Who wouldn't? Apparently there's a lot of opposition to this by people who either misunderstand scriptures that mention hell or don't know the history. I can see how the beliefs, message and teachings of Universalism would give people hope of salvation and redemption, whereas it's Catholic and Fundamentalist counterparts have the opposite effect. I know in my experience, fundamentalism in particular drained all of the hope and joy out of my life. I feared hell even when I was a child, before I was even old enough to sin. It's all about adherence to law and very little emphasis (if any) is put on grace. It makes God look very conditional, vengeful and hateful. One of the greatest regrets of my life is that so much of the best years of it were spent trying to please this distorted figure of God.

Universalism's message is completely different. All are valued, all are loved. Straight, gay, woman, man, all sin and all are forgiven and worthy of grace.

So it seems I have finally found among all of the sanctimonious, exclusionary and self-righteous christian sects of the world a group that really practices the love all christians claim their God represents. They believe in this message of universal love and acceptance and they are probably the happiest christians on earth.

I'm not thinking of converting religions here, but if I were these would be the people with whom I'd want to travel my spiritual path. Universalism is quite an amazing and beautiful thing.

And on that positive note, I suppose I should log off and get some things done.

Frickin' kids...

Sun, 23 Dec 2007 19:20:43 GMT

I had a long entry almost completely typed out when Trent, doing the exact opposite of what he was told, came in and closed my page. I lost the whole thing.

I need to start typing these things out in blogger just in case. Blogger auto-saves.

Dead girl walking...

Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:18:42 GMT

At least, that's what it feels like. After six plus years of the constant up-and-down that is Zoe's way of sleeping (which oddly is a lot like not sleeping at all), a person would think I'd be used to this by now. I haven't slept a full night through literally since she was born. I now know that this is part of her autism so it's just something I accept about her, but there are times when it's rather difficult to live with. The last two days however, have been almost impossible.

She either tends to go to bed late or wake up ridiculously early. By 'ridiculously early' I mean between 2 and 4am. From that time until it's time for me to wake up and get them ready for school she is literally bouncing about, running, giggling and pulling me out of bed every few minutes to get something she wants. I try to be as patient about this as I can, but after a couple of hours I usually reach the end of said patience and lock my bedroom door.

However, I won't do that if the babies are sick, and once again they've brought home something viral from their school. That means a lot of up and down with BOTH of them all night long, dosing them with cough syrup and administering breathing treatments. They have an appointment today and I'm hoping to get a refill on the albuterol and maybe some of the really good cough medicine with codeine. We all need the rest and the standard Robitussin isn't even making a slight difference in their coughs. The fact that Zoe is currently being treated for a sinus infection isn't helpful because she's already on an antibiotic so the doctor may not know what to do with her. If she'll just give me more albuterol that would certainly help.

I thought I was doing really well yesterday. I got the checks for the babies' lunches deposited at the school, dropped off the form to allow the school nurse to administer Zoe's eczema medicine, called in a refill for both her and Trent's Zyrtec syrup and started a load of laundry. All before 10:30am. I was on fire, baby!!

After starting the laundry I had just sat down to have a cup of coffee and the phone rang. Damn. Didn't even get a sip yet. It was the school. Trent had a horrible cough, the medicine I had given him at 8am wasn't helping and could I please come get him? Of course, of course, I answered. No problem.

Upon arriving home I received a call from the doctor's office telling me that since the meds we use on Zoe's eczema is a steroid cream they were 'uncomfortable' allowing it to be administered at school. I explained that this is one of the two times per year at which Zoe's outbreaks are more frequent and intense. In the spring it's triggered by the allergens, in the early winter the dry indoor heat sets it off. Vaporizers are no help with either. Applying the cream to the affected spots on her skin once before school and once after may not be enough. I've gone to the school so often this year to administer cough syrup, allergy meds and skin cream the nurse suggested I get doctor permission for her to do it so I wouldn't have to be there so much. Dr. Y's view was unchanged on the issue.

I called the school nurse and worked out a plan with her to use OTC skin cream on Zoe instead and was informed that even for non-prescription meds I'd still need a doctor's authorization.

Okay, now I'm starting to get a little irritated.

Called the doctor's office back, had to re-explain everything and got them to agree to allow the OTC, which I have to pick up and take to the school with the permission form.

I had no sooner gotten this cleared up, reached for my coffee and heaved a sigh of relief when I got a call from the pharmacy. As usual, fucking Aetna didn't want to cover our prescriptions because we had forgotten that we had already used our one refill. Aetna policy states that you get one refill on a new prescription. After that it's considered a maintenance medicine and has to be filled via their mail order program.

And here's the really super neato part: if you pay for it out of pocket you don't get reimbursed no matter how much you had to spend. Thanks to us not being aware of this in the beginning we have probably spent about a thousand dollars on meds that should have been covered by our insurance.

So, I asked, how much will it cost without help from Aetna?

For Zoe: $74+.
For Trent, who was prescribed a bigger bottle: $148 and change.

The pharmacist didn't want to fill prescriptions that expensive without knowing for sure we'd come and pick them up. Back to the phone. Called Larry, who was in a meeting. Would have to wait to see if this was going to be okay. Dammit.

Moving slowly from irritated into slightly pissed off.

With no time to even reach for my now very cold and unappetizing coffee, the phone rang again.

'Uh, sorry to have you running back because I know you've already been here twice today, but Zoe's miserable and coughing uncontrollably, could you maybe come get her?'

Of course, of course. Be there in ten minutes.

Memo to me: next time I pick up one of the babies from school check on the status of the other before leaving.

Get home, call Larry again. No answer.

Getting really angry now.

The children need the medicine and I need to know if we're going to have to watch them suffer with their allergies while Aetna takes two fucking weeks to get it here and Larry answer the fucking phone!!

Two hours later he called back and even though it was going to be expensive, asked me to have the pharmacy fill it anyway, and said he'd stop and pick it up on his way home from work.

Alrighty then. Gave them the go ahead and told them he'd be there between 5:30 and 6:30 to pick it up.

Then he worked late and completely forgot to go by the pharmacy.

Fortunately for dear Hubbins I am very understanding. And non-violent. otherwise he'd be limping to work today with one of my size 8 & 1/2s forcibly wedged into a very uncomfortable place. Removal would require surgery. Or maybe just a shoehorn and a lot of lube since we have to depend on Aetna. Cheap bastards.

I'm pretty worn out today. The babies have doctor appointments and I still have a ton of dusting and other chores that need to be done.

Things done thus far: zippo. Unless calling the doctor's office and taking out the trash count.

It's gonna be a long weekend.

Both babies also happened to get sick right when I'm starting to have that closed-in feeling. I was going to ask Larry to sit with them for awhile so I could get out for 30 minutes or so but that's not going to happen. I couldn't go out and enjoy myself, I'd just be worrying if they're okay.

There are times when I am sure the Gods are laughing at me.

Do you feel the mental health system is helping or hurting people today? Do you have an example?

Fri, 14 Dec 2007 01:28:07 GMT

Both. All we have to do is watch the news to see what happens when the mental wellbeing of someone has been ignored, misdiagnosed or neglected altogether. Cho Seung Hui was declared 'not harmful to himself or others' inspite of his extreme paranoia, feelings of helplessness, suicidal thoughts/threats and antisocial behavior. He was hugely failed by the mental health system.

However, on the other hand we have Brooke Shields, who suffered such deep post-partum psychosis she thought about killing her own baby, and she was tremendously helped (Brooke is brilliant; I just love her, and I still say Tom Cruise can shut the hell up on the subject until he sprouts a uterus of his own), with the right medication and a knowledgeable doctor who understood what was going on. I was also helped immeasurably with the right meds and four years with a fantastic therapist.

Certainly there are always going to be people who don't get adequate care, but for the most part I do think the mental health field has made definite progress. They continue to make new discoveries all the time and create new medicines. This new technology and advancements in psychiatry and psychology make it possible for more people to be helped.

So, too late to make a long story short...yes.

I just answered this Featured Question, you can answer it too!

He Came To Set the Captives Free...?

Wed, 12 Dec 2007 14:12:31 GMT

Amazon is the absolute best place to shop online, without question. However, since they began allowing people to comment on the reviews of others, it has become clear to me that the site has more than it's fair share of nutbars. One of them disagreed with my review of Jesus Camp, commented, then after I explained that opposing view points were represented so the documentary was more than fair and balanced, he went through all of my reviews and left nasty comments and hit the 'unhelpful' button. On every last review! Not that I've posted that many, but wow...

He has since been banned and his previous comments pulled (apparently he was doing this to a lot of people, some of whom reported him, I'm assuming - nobody likes a stalker), then reappeared under a new german ID, which he misspelled.

Since discovering that he has left his spoor in all of my reviews, I go through every once in awhile when I have nothing else to do, just to see if there are any comments. Yesterday afternoon was just such an occasion and boy howdy, it was a good one.

In 2004 I picked up a book I heard about on the radio that supposedly had an urban legend attached. The story is that satan so fears this book and it's message that things will happen to prevent you from finishing it. Kooky. My curiosity aroused, I picked up a copy and commensed to reading it, only to find it was genuinely impossible to finish, but not because there was some great evil force preventing me from reading further. I couldn't finish it because it was quite possibly the most awful book it has ever been my misfortune to open.

It's called He Came To Set the Captives Free. Now, before any passersby get their bloomers in a bunch and decide my review is based upon anti-christian bigotry, I promise that this is not the case. I LOVE Martin Zender and his work. His books are very direct, intelligent, well-written and scripturally based. I have never seen a spelling or editing error in his work either, unlike Rebecca Brown's poorly written nonsense, and also unlike her work, his has a strong scriptural base. In my quest to find something redeeming about christianity, his work is incredibly helpful, and I'd recommend it to other Pagans or anyone who happens to be looking for a way to overcome their negative feelings regarding christianity. A lot of Pagans have them, and for good reason, but some of us don't want to live in a constant state of negativity and anger regarding christians.

Anyway, it seems some folks have taken issue with my review of the book. I don't think there was anything offensive in the review, but I was brutally honest when writing about it because:
a) the writing plainly sucks, and
b) the claims this woman makes are so outrageous it astounds me that she still manages to cling to even the most miniscule shred of credibility.

Before I share the commentary, my review:

Doesn't even deserve a star...
If I could give this book a -10 star rating, I would. I bought it because there is supposed to be an urban legend based upon it, one that says satan gets so angry about the supposed 'information' in the book that strange things start happening in the home and life of the reader. The result is supposed to be that you don't finish reading the book. That's probably the only true thing I've heard about it - I couldn't finish it, but not for supernatural reasons.

It's poorly written for one thing, and is loaded with cruddy punctuation and misspelled words. If the author is a former doctor, shouldn't she know how to spell a simple word like 'breathe' (a word she repeatedly left the last letter out of)? The grammar and writing style are ridiculous as well, giving the impression that the author feels she had to dumb it down so that everyone else would get it. The tone of the text is insulting.

However, if the style and grammar rate a 9 out of ten on the reekometer, the storyline itself measures approximately 105. The author seems to have been cashing in on the SRA hoax of the early and mid eighties, but knows about this much <----> about either satanism or witchcraft.For instance, satanism doesn't actually deify satan, according to Anton LaVey's book "The Satanic Bible", satan is the figure chosen to focus upon because he represents the exact polar opposite of all things taught and believed by christians. Satanism is actually indulgence and worship of the self. Also, in that same book LaVey forbids the harm of children and animals during ritual. They may be present because their energy is strong and pure, but they must not be harmed, yet the author claims that ritual sacrifice of children goes on all the time.

The author also seems to have no real grasp of the theology behind Pagan beliefs, either, or she would know that satanism and Pagan religions are two completely different things. Satanism focuses on the self, while Pagan religions are both goddess and nature based, with an emphasis on positive energy and one one law: HARM NONE.

Not 'murder innocent people and drink babies' blood and launch a supernatural sneak attack on your enemy that nearly kills him/her.' HARM NONE.

All that aside, the BS factor of this book is off the charts. Not only does the author want us to believe that there are satanic cults manipulating us in our own churches and that they run hospitals and skin and eat babies, she also wants the reader to believe that her friend Elaine has had sex with satan and with demons, was punished for disobedience to satan four times by being afflicted with cancer, and that when witches have important meetings werewolves show up to protect them.

Yes. Werewolves.

This book is insulting to the collective intelligence of all who read it, paranoid, ridiculous and poorly written.

Do yourself a favor and don't bother.

********************************************************************

Direct and honest. Good people are being duped by this woman. Judging by the wealth of positive reviews for her work on Amazon, many christians will buy into some of the most ridiculous claims ever penned simply because the author is also a supposed 'christian'. They need to look a little deeper into her history and they'll discover she is not at all what she appears to be. For more information about her, go here, here, and here. It's obvious that she's a fraud.

However, a couple of her supporters have gotten their undies in a bunch over my review.

* From commenter L.N.:
I hardly see how subjecting oneself to contant criticism such as the likes of yours would in any way be worth any sort of "cashing in". She lost her friends, her credibility, her practice and she still would rather help those who need it and suffer for it. From one who has experienced demonic attacks in the past, I can tell you know nothing of whic you speak in your lame attempt to discredit Dr. Brown.

And there is absolutely nothing in her book that is anti-biblical. I read the book and never noticed the errors you speak of but, if they are there, isn't that really an EDITOR's failure instead of the authors?

* My response:
Her writing style is crap, she has absolutely no clue about witchcraft and she makes claims so ridiculous (werewolves) that those operating above the intellectual level of a pre-schooler are going to be completely turned off by it.

No, errors of that nature are not necessarily always the fault of the editor, the errors in spelling are too consistent ('breath' for example) to be a simple editing issue. The book appears to be published largely as it was written without much contribution from an editor at all, which is clear by the style and errors mentioned.

As for the attack on me, that I 'know nothing of whic (sic) I speak' in my 'lame attempt to discredit Dr. Brown', I not only am a former christian, I used to teach christianity to others (as a Sunday school teacher) several years ago. I think it's safe to say I know my stuff. Since then I have experienced a spiritual awakening and converted to a Pagan religion, so I've done plenty of research on the different traditions that fall into this category also. As a practicing Pagan I can personally assure you and anyone who might actually be interested in the TRUTH that there is no human sacrifice going on. We also do not consort with satan, as he is part of the christian pantheon and we don't even believe he exists.This book is paranoid, badly written, outrageous and insulting.

But you're perfectly entitled to believe every last lying word of it if you want, werewolf claims and all. Enjoy.

I stand by my review.

* From commenter 7eternity:
From everything you have written, it sounds like pagans believe that made-perfect writing and intelligent-sounding expressions are supposed to impress people or show quality, but words do not mean anything. Mere appearances do not impress or fool some of us, and even less, the eternal living God on Judgment Day.

Rebecca Brown's book to you may be `paranoid, ridiculous and poorly written'. You can criticize all you want, but one thing Rebecca, I, and all true Christians do for people, that you pagans and Satanists (same thing, same people: you all exalt yourself over others thinking you're all that) don't do, or I should say CAN'T do: we care and love you and pray for your eternal welfare with tears. As a former teacher of Christianity (if you ever were as you claim), you know Whom the only one God teaches love and peace is VS. the one who claims to be perfect like God, don't you? Would you be honest enough with yourself to recognize which one you truly follow?

He Came to Set the Captives Free is not a book. It is more than that. It is a WORD of TESTIMONY of the power of the Almighty God displayed in Rebecca Brown's life. But, how could you ever recognize the love and power of God in all things through all things, you people, blinded by and filled up with a spirit of "I'm sooo good, and IIIII know better". You so need the Holy Spirit of God!"

I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying." John 11:25 NLT

* My response:
Good writing is unnecessary? What a completely ridiculous statement.

Good writing is deeply important if you want to effectively get your message across. Words mean quite a bit, and your assertion that they do not is actually humorous considering you posted scripture to push your point.

I definitely criticize bad writing, and ridiculous claims, and so should you, and everyone else. The fact that this woman is supposedly a christian writer (and after being completely debunked by Personal Freedom Outreach ministries and reading her 'work' we know that she is neither), does not mean that she is being truthful. She claims that Witches have a huge bash once a year with werewolf bodyguards in attendance - do you actually believe that? If you're willing to buy into that you have no right to condemn someone else's opinion or spiritual beliefs.

Then there's the issue of your baseless assertion that Pagans do not care, love and pray for others. We not only do that daily, there are several Pagan charitable groups (including Officers Of Avalon), that give generously of their time, money and prayers for the wellbeing and protection of others every day. We have children, marriages and families we adore, just like you do. Your accusation of loveless, hate-filled lives is completely false.

I completely recognize who I walk with; He and She who were around long before your god and the associated religious sects that came with him. I could easily give you a list of pre-christian traditions and holidays that christianity borrowed from, including christmas, easter, the practice of communion and the story of virgin birth and ressurrection. Buddha, Mithra and countless other pre-christian Gods all shared this same basic story long before the birth of Christ. You have no right to judge the religious beliefs of others - you don't even know the difference between a Pagan and a Satanist. You just blindly assume we're all swimming in the same spiritual gene pool, and of course if you bothered to actually learn anything about us you'd see you're completely wrong (though you'd never admit it, of course).

I don't even believe satan exists, so you can save that tired old argument. I have the holy spirit of those who came long before your god, and they are the essence of true love and acceptance of all.

I do not claim to be perfect. I do not know everything and I never said I did. But even when I was christian I was intelligent enough to see through the vapid and baseless claims of charlatans like Rebecca Brown.

You SO need the gifts of discernment and common sense.

***************************************************

That last one was quite a bit more wordy and snippy than I originally intended, but she made several accusations/false statements and I felt compelled to address them. As far as I'm concerned, people can either believe this woman and be suckered in by what is obviously a series of blatant lies or they can see the truth about her and move on to better works by geniune christian writers. Just about anyone would be better than Rebecca Brown. My autistic seven year old has better grammar and spelling skills than she does, and unlike her, his work is constantly improving.

It is important to remember to not buy into something simply because it looks as if the writer belongs to our particular system of faith. As thinking, rational human beings we were blessed with at least some common sense, and it is up to us to exercise it in all things, worldly and otherworldly. There are some Pagan authors whose work I wouldn't touch with a gloved hand and a mechanized page-turner, because the things they wrote about previously rang false, were too fluffy bunny or their claims were patently and very shamelessly ridiculous. Yet Rebecca Brown continues writing dreck and passing it off as truth while the masses sing her praises. You don't have to be non-christian to see through her work for the paranoid and delusional tripe it is, and you don't have to be an english professor to spot her glaring lack of writing talent.

The fact that Jack Chick was her publisher should be all one needs to know that there is not exactly quality work within the pages. That man would publish anything if it pushed the idea that fundamentalist christians were the only ones who were actually worthy of the title 'christian' and everyone else is doomed. As long as the writing denigrates non-christians and the 'wrong type' of christians he'd delightedly distribute it.

Rebecca Brown and Elaine were not only published by Chick, they worked in his office for several years, which no doubt upped their credibility until other christians began digging into Brown's past. It was christians who exposed her, ironically.

Yet even now there are some who believe every word she ever wrote, ridiculous claims about mythical creatures and all.

I feel sorry for those people. Most of them are probably good people who are only trying to find the answers to life's great unknowns, just like the rest of us, and Rebecca Brown is taking advantage of them to sell books.

It's just sad.